Some call me Priscilla DePrimo (comtefabu) wrote,
Some call me Priscilla DePrimo
comtefabu

beauties

There are days i want to write on here some tiny inadequate message revealing small parts of all the changes taking place around me, but then i think better of myself and agree that there are no words for it. Everything is changing and at such a pace that i feel listless sometimes, like i'm floating and none of it is real, but it washes over me anyway. My hands are tied for the first time in a long time, and having them tied has oddly enough unblocked all the wonderful oddities floating about in my head -- i feel empowered in a way and once again picked up the pen to finish the novel i started a year ago, photo ideas come by the box every 5 minutes, and then there's work on dramas and short stories and poems and so much shit it makes my head spin.

I stopped traveling 5 days ago, suffered withdrawls and delusions and have since learned to relish withdrawls and delusions.

Beauty is truth, truth beauty, that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know

And yeah, as it turns out, that's all i know and all i have.

Enough. The facts: I'm staying put in Saigon. I'm blocking urges to move to syria... it would take months to get there and i would arrive penniless. I haven't had more than 3 hrs sleep a night in the past week and i'm a total mess. People ask if i'm a heroin addict. I ask if they have some for sale. Last night i had my pockets picked by a drag queen. She made off with 30 cents. I feel bad because that's not enough to buy a gash. I have a job interview on friday... it's a good job and they're going to request that i not shoot heroin in the faculty washrooms.

Sorry this is so scatterbrained. There were some major decisions this morning and i'm reeling.
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